Angel Baby

My beautiful girl.. How can I describe to you how inlove with you I constantly am? This isn't any easy thing for me to write. I'll explain in a second but... First off, I doubt highly that you're pregnant. I just don't see it. You are very late, true. But pregnant? NO. I doubt it deep down Mary. I think you are just worried. If your period does not come though, and you take another test thursday and you are, then Tom better fucking handle it. It's his fault anyway. You didn't ask to be seduced by him like that. This whole entire family is like that on you. (And no, I can't talk). Lol. You are so amazing Mary. Do you wonder why you always see my truck? It's not Justin anymore. It's ME. He bought the new white expedition. Did he tell you that? If not, that is what Jus is driving now. I *promised* you I would stalk you babygirl. And I am. See? I never break my promises, especially not to you. You are not only my sister, lover and best friend, you are my EVERYTHING. I can't even imagine being without you. I don't get to see you much thanks to Mike and those assholes, but hey...no one does. So I suffer, too. However, that is all going to change. Good news :). I heard word from Rob that I will soon be able to visit you more and be with you. I can't wait! Just you wait till I get my hands on your perfect body once and for all. Yes. I am stalking you. I have been ever since we started this weblog. I know it's been months since we wrote last, but it still turns me on to know you and I have this secret spot to chat and discuss us. Remember how about a month or so ago I came through your line? And you and I had this wonderful talk about if we 'knew' eachother? I just loved playing that way with you. It was so exciting to think that you and I role play so fucking well. It was so arousing to look at my baby sister, our innocent little angel, and just talk gently with you...flirt. Act like we haven't ever really talked before. I was rock hard by the time I got to my truck. I just sat in it, and honestly jerked off hard and came all over the place. I followed you home that night for sure. Do you remember seeing my truck? I hope this doesn't make you angry Mary. I really hope not. I just can't control it anymore. Maybe everyone in this is right. The brothers in this family are royally fucked in their heads. I'm no exception I guess. I was kinda hoping you would have called me these past few days. I really want to talk to you. I called you know. But I know you've been tired and worried. Working your tight little ass off, lol. It's cool. I understand because I'm still pulling two jobs a week. I hate it. I can't sleep much because I know that alarm clock is going to go off and wake my ass up. I just want to share my world with you Mary. More and more and more and more and more. Until you and I are as close as you and Andrew are. If you think I'm joking- I'm NOT. OKAY... enough about how I've been following you...let me explain the important shit I want you to know. I have to be 100% honest with you. Why? Because I love you to death and look up to you Mary. That's why. I admire your inner strength and outer resilence to pain and heart-ache. And we all know you've been through a lot of it, too. I think sometimes you ignore the obvious. We all do it Mary, shit. Who wouldn't the way things are, right? I admit I do it too, about things other than what I'm about to tell you. But if you *truely* did open up your blue eyes, oh, the changes you would notice. So what is it then that you are ignoring? Let me put it our in layman's terms for you baby. I can't be anymore blunt about it. I was somewhat..um..chosen. Yes. You guessed right. If you are understanding what I just said, I was chosen to be.. one of the top guys. If you begin to hate me like you do them, or you fall out of love with me because of this shit, then I will kill myself. Plain and simple. I can't back out of it now, it's way too late. But I fucking refuse to let you hate me. I would do anything to die if you told me you couldn't love me anymore. Don't judge me Mary. Please. I am begging you. This shit is so hard to tell you. I feel somewhat guilty. I should have never agreed but it all made sense. And that is why I am allowed to stalk you so much. I love to do it, so regardless...but...it won't be much longer before you and I can share our lives together like we were. I had to back off. SO I begged Brad, Mike and Rob and Phi..I told them I would do ANYTHING to win their trust and be near you. To be privileged to have you next to you again oneday. Making love to you..even raping you. They were very reluctant at first. Brad seemed to think I just wanted a free ride. But I proved them all wrong. I did what I had to, suffered and promised, kept those promises and now it's almost done. I got my ass beat constantly by Mike. No lie. Ask your husband. He literally beat me senseless. I have been in and out of hell itself Mary. I died already for you. Literally did it. Like Phoenix. And it hurts, the hell hurts. Limbo is worse though. Much, much worse believe it or not. I DID THIS FOR YOU MY BRIGHT ANGEL. I did it for you. I'm more confortable now in my role. I feel at home with the other top guys. Even Chino and me get along really well. We went to a bar last night even. See? I can be next to you soon and I just cannot wait. Tell me how you feel. Let me know. Don't hold back baby. If you are angry, we'll talk it out. If you want info, I'll share what I am at liberty to. They know we have a blog, but it's still only for us. I promise. I know Romeo dearest reads it, but hell. Mike and you are one anyway. So tell me Mary. Let this happen. We need to talk about me being different now. By the way. I was wondering if you and I could meet up at soldiers delight next week instead of you and Rob? I would love to see you again, obviously, but atleast that way we could talk in somewhat private ways other then here. I love you, I love you. I'll do anything to get you.. Luke